Contemplation
by kakakakissy
Summary: In BPOV and then EPOV, this is the story of the whole break up thing. Only different...so yeah. Have fun. Oneshot.


One-shot. This story doesn't belong to me, blah, blah, blah.

_**Contemplation: Bella's Demise**_

He was gone. So I walked. I walked to nowhere. I walked towards nothing.

"Edward…Edward…Edward." I repeated his name endlessly, hoping to draw him back to me; I hoped for him to shake me awake and for this all to be a dream.

I stretched my arms out to my sides, touching the moss-covered trees on the left and right.

"North, South, East, and West; only I know what's best." I giggled crazily. My fingernails dug into the bark so that the green vanished beneath my frozen fingertips. I could hear water near by.

I followed the quiet noise until the tips of my tennis shoes touched the water. I slipped them and my socks off. My whole foot was suspended underneath the murky brown depths that welcomed me.

I could do it now. I could shove my face underneath the water and let it stay perched there forever.

I looked all around me. I threw my damp hair behind me so that my face was turned upwards, towards a dark grey sky. The rain came down. I knew that it was so fast it should have hurt my face, but I felt nothing. My face held concern.

At least he was happy now—happy without me. My lips closed, preparing to swallow, but my mouth was dry and empty.

By then, I was up to my waist in water. It was freezing. _Swimming in September, Bella…great work._

Perspiration covered my forehead and I cupped the almost frozen river into my hands. The moisture burned me…I liked it.

So I pulled my life underneath the water, until my whole body was suspended beneath gloomy desperation.

The first bowl on earth; the second bowl on the sea; the third on the rivers; the fourth bowl on the sun; the fifth bowl on the beast; the six bowl on the stars; the seventh bowl on the air. And the earth turned grey. The sea turned black. The rivers turned red. The sun turned cold. The beast turned pale. The stars turned fast. And the air turned to poison as I voiced my last word…

"Edward."

_**Contemplation: Edward's Way of Handling**_

I could see the beautiful angel's eyes as I walked away from life. Just as I entered my car, I saw her walking deeper into the forest. What was she doing?

I started to walk back, out of instinct, to pull her back. NO! My chin trembled, holding back a sob.

As she crept deeper into the dense trees, she said my name over and over again.

"I love you…my Bella," I mumbled.

I ran as fast as I possibly could to my car. With the key in the ignition, I pressed on the gas hard; I needed to get out of here.

I sang with the music that was playing.

"North, South, East, and West; only I know what's best…" This was one of her favorites.

Just don't think about her. Please, don't…Bella.

I leaned forward so my head was on the steering wheel.

"Bella!" I cried. I needed the relief of crying, but I would never have it. Instead, all that came were terrible dry sobs, inaudible to human ears.

I slammed my fist into the CD player. It shattered. The shining half of the disc that was in the player, landed in my lap. It was a CD Bella and I made together. We had decorated it over the summer with amazing doodles in bright colors. On one side was a picture of Bella looking down; I, who was on the other side (on the half of the CD that was in the passenger seat) was looking up, towards her. Right next to Bella's face were the words "I Love You Forever and Ever."

I forced a sob down.

Love – Devotion. Feeling – Emotion. Don't be afraid to be weak. Don't be too proud to be strong. Just look into your heart; that will return to yourself—the return to innocence. And if you want, then start to laugh. If you must, then start to cry. Be yourself, don't hide. Just believe in destiny. Don't care what people say. Just follow your own way. Don't give up, and use the chance to return to innocence. That's not the beginning of the end. That's the return to yourself.

_**I see love, I can see passion. I feel danger, I feel obsession. Don't play games with the ones who love you. Because I hear a voice who says: I love you…I'll kill you. Loneliness, I feel loneliness in my room. Look into the mirror of your soul. Love and hate are one in all. Sacrifice turns to revenge and believe me. You'll see the face who'll say: I love you…I'll kill you. But I'll love you forever.**_


End file.
